5. Ride Him, Cowgirl. Dude is lazy. He doesn’t have a job, he doesn’t go to the gym, and the last time his place got cleaned was the last time you cleaned it for him. He’s so under-motivated that during sex, the only thing upright is his wang. You either climb on board and ride him, or you ain’t gettin’ none. If you point out this isn’t exactly sexual equality, he says, “Huh?”

Pros: You’re the boss lady up in this joint; stronger thighs.

Cons: You’re looking for Downward Doggie Dude.